Be careful for nothing
It’s been a little over a month since having the pleasure of a hospital stay for observation due to chest pain. Yes, I said that correctly, chest pain. So, before we go down that rabbit hole, let me get out what’s in my thought process. Honestly, there’s several stories going on inside my head all at once and being able to decide on one is a hard task.
Close your eyes and envision a hospital room. A bed with buttons, small sink with an automatic soap dispenser and paper towel holder, a large recliner along with a smaller chair in the room, a 36-to-42-inch mounted television on the wall, computer network for staff use, a bathroom with a shower within walking distance from the bed and a plethora of hospital equipment and cords within arm’s reach. There are no personal touches. A whiteboard with the daily activities is right before your eyes hanging on the wall near the television, so there’s no looking away from it. No fresh smelling aromas of flowers, scented candles, fresh laundry or gentle air coming through an open window. The windows are purposely sealed shut for safety reasons. The hand sanitizers makes a distinct sound when used and it’s used a lot in a medical setting. There are beeping machines heard through closed doors, all kinds of equipment can be seen lined up against the walls to keep the walkway clear. The hospital has different types of aromas and sounds of moanings and murmurings from patient rooms. So much to take in!
Now imagine sitting in one of these hospital rooms, all by yourself with the eerie feeling of silence with the door closed and lights are deemed. It’s just you, looking around the room only to realize you cannot go anywhere. Even if you decide to leave the hospital, the chance of return is 100% guaranteed based on the lack of treatment. The next knock at the hospital door you hope it’s someone coming to tell you it’s time for discharge only to realize there’s another test that’s been ordered or you have another request for more blood work. Did we discuss how many needle sticks one may need to endure in order to find a viable vein for fluids and hydration?
Will you be able to hold back the tears? I surely didn’t. All of this was so overwhelming and I remember saying, “Lord, please help me”. Every test done and every lab draw had me go deeper and deeper into my shell because I felt it wasn’t going to end and I had so much to do for the upcoming week. I didn’t want to be trapped and not be available for my family and did not want to miss work. I was still thinking of what had to be done and not trying to be still. ‘God, are you really trying to have me to keep still on purpose?’ As all this craziness kept swirling about, I continued to have chest pain, not giving a second thought to it either, only trying to see about leaving, because I thought I had to. As one of my grands would say, ‘the math is not mathing’ and it was not!
Philippians 4;6 Be careful for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
As I was being transported to test after test, I was told by one of the employees that everything seems to line up for me when orders were requested. To understand the process, when a provider places an order for a test or blood work, it may take several hours or days before there’s any movement. I was there on a Sunday when everyone was off or on call! The cardiologist who placed all orders just so happen to be working the night/day shift of my observation and was available physically to review each test to make a determination for the next steps. All I can hope and pray for was a discharge order. Then it happened, all tests revealed no cardiac concerns, blood work was negative, and nitroglycerin tab helped with pain, I was being set up for discharge. Praise God!! Though, I was being treated for cardiac concerns, I will need to follow up for a medial steindam cyst found on a scan. I’m speaking healing in the name of Jesus over this cyst!
The above verse tells us to be careful for nothing, not to overthink everything, not having anxiety over your peace and giving ALL our concerns God with sincere gratitude. There’s nothing we can add to it and nothing we can take from it. I have to shift my focus on God. I don’t want to try to fix anything on my own, not without seeking God.
BE Kept!
